Chapter 13: Vivid descriptions.

Have you ever seen a man with two left arms? Maybe some of you have. Maybe some of you have seen pictures on the Internet, some of you may be experts with photoshop and are making the photos of people with two left arms that are found on the Internet.

And some of you may be like me, and you're writing people with two left arms. I was editing a fight scene in Overshadowed when I first discovered I had a problem.

The problem I was facing, is one all writers face when describing fight scenes. The fact is fights are fast, and writing about them is not. So I was of course committing the cardinal sin of writing the scene too fast. And as these sort of things usually do, it came back to bite me.

The end result was my protagonist spent two whole sentences fighting with two left arms. I had vividly described the scene of the struggle, the placement of all parties involved and their interaction of combat. Unfortunately I hadn't taken the laws of basic anatomy into consideration when I was typing everything out.

When I write a fight scene, I do what probably most anybody does. I try to record how I think I would handle the situation (and that is why it is called fiction), how I would react to fighting a small band of monstrous beasts, and what moves I would make to overcome them. In short, I watch the movie in my head then try and copy it onto paper.

Does anybody else out there write fiction? And if so, what are you finding for roadblocks when describing action sequences? It is a part of story-telling that can be a pitfall for all of us. I know it is for me because I get excited and it's a part of the movie-in-my-head that I really enjoy watching. I want it on paper soooooo bad that I put it down as fast as I can.

What I need to do is take a step back when I approach these types of scenes and find a more disciplined method for capturing those moments. As always, the better your earlier drafts; the easier your final ones will be. I can be entertained by it, but I also need to be responsible in my content handling.

I find one thing to be true about any type of written story. That if you spend lots of time thinking about it before you put it to paper, you're usually going to end up with a better finished product. So if you find yourself trying to record a scene, and you're stuck on the details, take a step back and think over the sequences you are creating. Spend extra time imagining how you would expect a fight to go. And most importantly stick to the basics when it comes to things like physics and anatomy.

I'm going to leave Glass Walls up for one more week. If you haven't read it, go read it!! As always I appreciate feedback. Hope you all have had a good week.

'Til next time.

Chapter 11: Story building, Part 3

So I have finally finished my first draft. I even came in under my 5k word limit. This is a new feeling for me. Usually I am cutting words to make the length. This time I was a bit too judicious in my efforts and my reward is that I now get to add content.

My characters shaped up well. I have my strong hero; confident and self-assured. And my equally strong heroine, who is a bit more fragile only because of her size. Capturing the dynamics of their relationship as they grow closer together through has been my goal for this story all along. I think the idea of two people falling in love having never touched, or heard each other speak is an interesting one. And thanks to the World Wide Web it is not such a far-fetched concept either.

The story is entirely first-person perspective, from Toms point of view, so we unfortunately never really get to hear much of Sophie’s side, but we see how he grows to care for her and becomes more and more tortured by what happens to her. I also want a seed of distrust to flow through the final decision Tom has to make. Has Sophie been turned? Is she being used by the aliens against him, and if she is does he even care anymore?

So what do you guys think? Do the tidbits I've thrown out show my story to have enough of the "good stuff" that it will need in order to keep its intrigue, suspense and enjoyment levels high enough to keep you interested? I sure hope so...

One final note about line-editing. Someday I want to do a chapter dedicated solely to the art of line-editing, so I won't go too deeply into detail tonight. I have been doing line work on Glass Walls this week and have found it to be quite frustrating, nothing new there. But I love how it can help to open up a brand new direction that you may have been hinting at, but have not quite put your finger on yet. I know that's pretty vague, but I want to save some of my technical examples for a later date.

A little technical, non-story related blurb. I am going to be changing my Chapter release date from Thursday to Friday. My weeks have become quite busy and Friday is now the best time for me to post this thing. I don't know, I hope that isn't such a problem. Not like anybody has anything better to do on a Friday night anyway.

Hey is anybody excited for Glass Walls? I know I am even more excited about the feedback that hopefully all of you are dieing to give. I cherish opinions, (especially harsh ones) for I feel they help me grow. If you would like to make a comment, but lack the gumption to subscribe you can post it. Please take a few seconds and email it to me at OverdshadowedIPod@yahoo.com and I will post it for you. I hope to have some discussion points from my story, so please don't be shy.

Without further ado; I will make this official, Glass Walls will be available for your reading pleasure on September 17th, so set your calendars and get excited. But hurry it's only going to be available for a limited time.

'Til next time...

Chapter 10: Story building Pt. 2

So just to give a quick update. I am about 40% done with my short story's first draft , and thoroughly enjoying myself; short story writing is fun!

I've gone with the remarkably common names of Tom for my hero, and Sophie for my heroine. My goal is to make the physicality of the pair be as normal as possible, run-of-the-mill, in fact. I have with the aliens as well, they are also rather generic. I have decided to call them Ralphies, not as there actual names but as the name they are referred to by.

The setting will be called the 'X galaxy', I went with a roman numeral name system because I grow so weary of ridiculous made up names that no one would ever consider naming a galaxy after. Also cheesy "new" locations named after current places on earth, (New Memphis, New Jordan) just don't work for me. So the galaxy will be the tenth galaxy currently under human exploration, and one that is only a few thousand years from being swallowed by a black hole.

My characters are losing a battle with time. They are on the side that's winning the war, but are stuck in the clutches of the enemy. They face daily torture sessions, solitude and loneliness, and slowly but surely they are falling in love.

Around them their world is reduced to nothing more than a glass bubble, and daily trips to the torture room. It also seems that the outside battle is drawing close, but they can't be sure of anything.
I already have the ending pretty much wrapped up. I have decided that Tom is going to have to face a decision; to run and leave Sophie, or stay and tempt death.

What would you do?

That seems to be a reoccurring question for me as I write this story. What would I do in that situation? If I can compel my readers to ask themselves that same question, then I have achieved a goal as a writer, and perhaps will have the makings of a good story.

I'm pleased with my progress so far. I just checked my word count, I am at 2900 words. I have finished both the beginning and the end. All I need to do now is throw the middle scenes together and I will have the first draft.

I think I'll have a contest, a test of loyalty from my group of loyal followers.

Does anybody want to play the role of Alpha reader for this project? I will select someone for the job. The pay is unbelievable, and the benefits are out-of-sight. If you're interested just fire off a comment, if you can't comment due to lack of google account, than go ahead and email me at Overshadowedipod@yahoo.com

I'm going to halt my efforts at practical advice for the time being as I have quite a bit on my plate right now. Keep an eye out in the coming weeks though I'm sure it will be back.

Also I'm considering on changing the format in coming chapters. I want to invite reader participation, and have more open discussions. If you're reading this than you're obviously interested in writing, and that means you have something to contribute. More on that in the future.

'Til then...

Chapter 9: Story Building Part 1

So for this weeks installment I am going to start cataloging work on a short story idea that has been bouncing around in my head. As a writer it's easy to focus on one single project, but from a marketing perspective it's important to have several works in progress, or completed.

I'm going to try to keep this story as close to 5000 words as possible, so I'm going to have to keep that in mind as the story progresses. I hate counting words.
If I'm writing a short story that has to be a certain length than I'm conscious of my word count; a good practice for disciplined writing. However if this were a full-length novel, then I would throw all notions of word count out the window, until I was much further into the process.

The first step is the idea, the second is the characters, the third is the storyline.

The idea:

The story will be about a man trapped in an alien concentration camp. It will focus on the trauma he endures. He will only see one other prisoner, a female. They will develop a bond, which will ultimately grow into love, and we will see how far that bond can be stretched.

A little side-note btw: I will need to be extra careful to establish the location of this story as early as possible in the storyline. Prisons/concentration camps are something very common in today's day and age. This is a positive, because most readers will be able to relate very easily with the setting, giving me space to focus on character development and the core of the story. However I must establish this story as a piece of science fiction as soon as possible so as to not confuse anyone.

Characters:

In my vision for this story, I really want to capture the contrast between humanity and alien culture. How I plan to do this is expose humanity at its core, most specifically in the feelings of love. Love is a powerful motivator and can be used effectively in pushing a character in the direction you want it to go.
So my two main characters are going to be a male and a female, and they are both soldiers.

Plot:

The prisoners will be in side by side cells, with walls made of soundproof glass. Unable to hear each other speak, they will find other ways to communicate as they slowly fall in love.
The main points will be the sharing in the suffering, and trying to establish a connection when so many forms of communication are unavailable to them.
Both will be tested, but he will start to notice that she is being broken down. Then he will be given an opportunity to try and escape, and be forced to decide between fleeing, or staying with the woman. Will his growing love for her be enough, or will he leave her behind?

Now, for my own reference point I'm going to create a simple outline. That way I have something to go back to when I need to revive story details in my mind. I can't advocate for outlines enough, if you're writing you should be using one.

Part 1: Our protagonist is in a torture chamber. I will use this time for introducing the main character and his dilemma. I will also introduce the alien antagonists and explain the war that has brought both sides together. Also this room will be revisited later so I had better give some details for my readers benefit.

Part 2: Immediately following part. 1. Will explain his surroundings from his cell, and introduce his female companion

Part 3: Two weeks later He will see her dragged back into her cell after a torture session. They will communicate by writing on the glass walls in blood.

Part 4: They will witness another prisoner trying to escape and dieing in the process.

Part 5: They will develop a bond together.

Part 6: He will have an opportunity to escape, and be forced to choose between freedom and leaving his new found love.

Some of the key points I want to capture in this story will be the psychological toll of human solitude, the cruelty of the aliens, and the feeling of being torn between love and freedom. And of course the big finish, which we'll keep hidden for now.

Next week I'm going to draw up my characters, give them names and appearances, and expand my plot a little further. After that I just might start the first draft. I have a lot of story I need to pack into a small amount of words so I'm interested to see if I can do it.

‘til next time…

Chapter 8: Milestones of writing.

I want to try and revisit some of the milestones of my writing process. I have come a long way, and occasionally it feels really good to sit down, retrace my steps and see exactly how much ground I have covered.

Unknown to most of you, Overshadowed is not my first work. I wrote a screenplay called RFG back in '03-'04. Let me be the first to say that it is awesome! No, quite frankly it was terrible. I consider it the first milestone in this book because without it, I never would have written Overshadowed.

I can barely remember the first time I wrote about Overshadowed, it was that long ago. As you can surmise from previous chapters I had an idea, that was about it. I had a dream and a couple ideas for characters, but beyond that I knew very little. I had no outline, pretty much nothing.
So naturally I started at the beginning; page 1. It makes sense to start there right, right?
That first day was a lot of fun, I wrote several pages about a girl I had in mind for my main character. She was supposed to be an orphan who had nobody. And that was how I started the first day in the life of Angyll.

I don't remember exactly how far along in the process I was when I took my first real break from writing. It had to have been sometime around the completion of the first draft. But I set Overshadowed down and didn't touch it for about three months. No super-deep reason or anything, just because life left me in a place where I didn't feel like working on it.

I include this as a milestone because coming back from that break was a turning point for me, it spoke to me that I could take a break without quitting the whole thing altogether.

My 2nd draft was a huge milestone, but I've already talked about that in previous chapters, so I'm not going to go into too much detail about it. It just was the point where I decided I needed to take my work to the next level. It was the point I started taking things seriously.

After I finished my second draft, I all but quit writing (funny how all my milestones are me taking a break). I didn't touch my book for a year and a half. I had a lot on my plate, and no sense of urgency for trying to finish. Now, to think of not writing for that long makes me queasy, but at that point it was no big deal.
I am thankful for that break because I went through a lot of personal changes. I grew up in a sense, and so did my writing.
When I finally picked up my story again, it wasn't to write, it was to read. I missed the characters and wanted to see how they were doing. I found them in desperate need of attention, and so I grabbed the baton and haven't looked back since.

My first completion was another. I call it my first completion because it was when I finished the story as it stands today. Now mind you many things have changed since then (I reached this stage in 2007 btw), but the core structure has remained the same. It was at that point I printed out my first complete paper copy of my book.

Since I liked reading my book so much I assumed others would as well. So I started to see if someone wanted to publish it. It was premature, very premature. So my next milestone was my first rejection letter.

I personally enjoyed that stage quite a bit. Self-promotion takes work, and is exciting. I found it interesting to learn a little bit more about the publishing process. I learned how presenting yourself is as important, if not more important than being a great writer. So much more than a novel gets picked when one is chosen for publishing. A lot of writers forget that publishers are picking up a person, a product if you will. The other thing I learned was that my book was not ready for publishing.


A very important milestone was a small event with huge ramifications. It happened near the end of 2008. I was in a place where I was discouraged. I was not having any fun working on Overshadowed, and I was not progressing. I was stuck in a rut I couldn't get out of. Whenever I wrote I got super frustrated.
I let my dad read a current draft of overshadowed. I gave it to him not expecting much, but he called me the next day saying he had started reading it and couldn't stop. He had read the whole book in one day and even though it was rough, he had enjoyed it. Being in the place I was at the time his words were a huge encouragement that rejuvenated my desire to write. I still to this day am grateful for that conversation, it happened at a point in my life I needed it.

The most current milestone is having the assistance of an actual editor. Before, only a handful of individuals had ever seen overshadowed, the majority of those were in my family. Truthfully it is a pretty hard process. Putting your work under such scrutiny is humbling, and makes me feel somewhat dumb at times. However it is a better book because of it and my editor has helped me see things from a different perspective. All in all the experience has been very encouraging and fruitful.

I wanted to reminisce about specific circumstances so you could see a glimpse of all that has gone on in this process. However I cannot talk about the major milestones of my work without mentioning a reoccurring one. A voice that has spoken up every time I needed it to. Someone who has given more for this project than anyone else.
That milestone is my wife. She has stood by me through this entire process. She has given me constant encouragement, and has helped more than I could ever say. Even if she wasn’t excited about it at times she has stood by me for the duration. No matter what happens I will be forever grateful for everything she has given up for me and this project. Thank you Ashley.

Practical advice:



Don't rush the process.

Now at first glance this may seem like bad advice. It seems that way because there is an aspect of writing that is based on being able to put your work together asap. That is true, many times in your career (especially if you get published) you will have to meet deadlines. You will have to get great at making your work quality in as little time as possible.
I'm not talking about those times, I'm talking about the times when you are young in your career and things are just starting to take shape. If something doesn't come to you immediately, don't fight it. Take your time and work it out for yourself. If you rush through portions of your writing, without giving them the detail that they need. Then they will always come back to haunt you.
It is going to take roughly a year and a couple months to fix everything on Overshadowed. I don't really count this because I didn't learn how to write before I started Overshadowed but it still would be nice to be finished instead of revisiting what needs to be done.
Write fast if you can, but do it well. Just remember when it is necessary to take it slow, do that.

Chapter 7 Just Write: Part 2

Because I ran out of room last week rambling on about why you should just write, I never got around to my second of the two quotes.
It is both painful to receive, and hard to accept, but it is entirely correct, and if received properly should be quite liberating as well. This famous phrase was said by the esteemed literary genius Ernest Hemingway.

Without further ado: "The first draft of everything is shit."

I remember this quote quite well because in my own writing, as well as the people I have discussed these points with, I find two things to be true about any first draft. That we all either spend so much time proofreading our first draft that we forget what the ending of the piece is we are writing. Or we are at the other end of the pendulum. We throw down words so fast that there is no regard whatsoever for spelling, punctuation, sentence structure, writing format, the English language...

You get the idea.

So who is right? And more importantly, which leads to better writing? Honestly that's a loaded question and the answer falls somewhere near the 'I don't know' category.

Here's what happened to me.

I would start a new idea, character, or subplot with a super-high level of excitement. I would attack whatever it was with unparalleled ferocity. About three words in I would start to notice that things were getting a little bit dodgy. My sentences would be three paragraphs long, I would shorthand words like 'the' and 'it', I would forget to use my space bar for word after word. You get the idea. Well being a bit of a perfectionist about my work would force me to stop my mad blitzkrieg, and start fixing every little problem on the spot. Things would be so ugly that it would take a while, and suddenly I would forget what it was I was writing about.
I would lose the amazing idea, and be left with little memory of something epic that would have made my story a million times better. But at least my half finished idea could pass a spell-check.

Still there are others who come prepared with a much better game plan, and actually develop their ideas before they try to write them. I hope to start trying this approach when I work on my future projects.



My intentions are to get better at drafting because quite frankly it is time consuming to have to re-word your sentences, or go through numerous rewrites just to make your writing presentable. I can't consider myself a writer until I know how to write properly. So for me it is a learning curve every time I put pen to paper, or rather finger to key.

Drafting isn't an easy process, it's really quite time consuming. Especially if it takes numerous tries to get something right. I have probably written close to 300,000 words for Overshadowed, and that is way to many for the finished product.

The story of how I ended up writing that many words is a sad tale, one echoed by many aspiring writers. After completing the second revision I started doing what is referred to as line-editing. I started doing this simply because it felt necessary, it was the next step that made sense.
I went through the entire book line by line and changed the wording in basically every sentence. I know now of course that was totally premature. I was not ready for line-editing, neither was the book. I just knew something was wrong with my story, and that was the only thing I knew to do that seemed like it might fix the problem. Now that I have matured as a writer I know more of what needed to be done. But of course it's too late for that now.

What I needed to do was more drafting. My story, as good as it was, drifted all over the place. My characters were malnourished, and under-developed. My timeline was mixed up. I needed to fix the terrible ending, and improve the boring beginning. Most of these fixes were ideas that my editor presented to me when she started the repair work. I honestly was just not looking at the story objectively enough. I needed to take a step back and analyze my work, perhaps if I had done that I would have made at least some of the necessary adjustments, instead of working around in circles.

I could cover a few more points about drafting and perhaps I'll touch on them soon, but that is all for now


Practical advice:

Plan ahead, set goals and work towards them.

This weeks PA may feel a little bit like a cop out and that's because it is :-). Well not really it's more of a practical encouragement than advice.

Writing is hard, much harder than anyone who hasn't done it knows. And truthfully as with any challenging task, it can also be discouraging. Expect this, because it will happen. Just last week I was extremely disheartened, to the point I wanted to quit.

Novel writing also takes time, lots of that as well. Again this can be discouraging. Don’t expect your story to come together in a few weeks. I have expected my novel to be done several different times now (3 to be exact), and every time I’m glad that I accept that it is not ready.

You can combat discouragement in a number of ways, but one that always works for me is to anticipate it happening and avoid it by setting a goal for myself. Not some pie in the sky type of goal, but a reachable one. I only have one goal right now, and that is to complete Overshadowed by the end of this year. I honestly don’t know if I'm going to reach that goal or not, but that isn’t leaving me discouraged. Instead trying to reach this goal has excited me to write more, and write more consistently. It's an exciting time for me, and can be for you as well. Just keep working toward your goals.

'Til next time...

Chapter 6: Just Write.

Two quotes come to mind when I think about this weeks topic. The first "if you wish to be a writer, write" is a simple one, but it carries enough implications to write a book with.

It was a quote by Epictetus a Greek philosopher, and it points to a huge problem in the writers world. Apparently one that’s been around for awhile since the ancient Greeks were talking about it
The fact is that writing has no quick fix, simply put the only way to get it done is to do it. It takes years for a normal person to write a novel, the best in the world take months, but no one can bang out a full-length novel in a couple of hours. (Those of you who wish to try need to pay attention to the second quote, but that's for later).

It's just a fact of life, the sun rises and falls, gravity never fails, and it takes a long time to type 125,000 words. The point I want to make is that people seem to forget that.

The inclination to write is a romantic one, sprinkled with fantasies of putting out bestsellers from the sandy beaches of the Bahamas, or from a villa overlooking your vineyard right outside of Rome. It grows even larger when you realize you have an exciting idea, and that your idea is better than emo vampires who sparkle, or nerdy middle school wizards. So the conclusion is an obvious one, you'll be rich and famous in no time. Might as well start yacht shopping.

All this is well and good, but then you meet this terrible villain named reality. He has weasled his way into your autobiography (which btw is also destined for the bestsellers list) and is hiding somewhere between picking out the director for your first adapted novel, and you typing your first complete paragraph.

I know, I know, the sarcasm is strong with this one. I'm beating a dead-horse here, I just hope it's entertaining enough for you to keep reading, because the point I am making is a good one.

The reality is that precious few of your dreams are going to come true, very few indeed. That is not said in an effort to dissuade you however, if anything it should encourage you. If writing was the glamorous life we all dream that it should be, then there would be more books written than there are people to read them.

That is encouraging because it acts as a filter, a filter for people who do not have what it takes to make it in this industry. I have heard stories of people that wrote for 10-15 years before someone looked at their manuscript. 15 years???? That's insane! Could you give up that many years of evenings or weekends? Remember I'm five years in myself, and I hope I don't have to wait another ten.

If you really, truly, love to write than consider the fact that it is not glamorous, it is tedious. It is not a get rich quick thing, you'll probably have more luck in Amway. And your going to need to give up time, lots of it. So if I accomplish anything with this chapter, I hope it will help you consider the cost of being a writer. If that cost is too expensive, then get out now, You'll thank yourself later! If these words get you excited to 'strike a prose', then get to it!

That is my whole point here, Just write! I have talked to too many people that want to live the life but don't want to cover the tab. If you want to be a writer, and you haven't started writing yet, then stop reading this, go get your instrument, and start laying down the ink.

Start by writing down your idea, then create a character, it could be an antagonist, or a protagonist, doesn't matter. Perhaps you want to be the next Robert Jordan, then start world building. The next Stephen King? Start facing your fears.

You get to decide what kind of story you write! And the greatest part is that it's fiction!! That gives you permission to do whatever you want. Your characters can go anywhere, say anything, see everything, be anybody. When you start to think along those lines you'll quickly realize 125,000 words might not be enough.

Sadly I have gone on too long to discuss the second of the two quotes, I'll cover that one next week. Hopefully I won't be so long winded. Anyways I hope this rant was encouraging, or at the very least entertaining.

Practical advice:

Since I entitled this weeks chapter 'Just Write', I thought it appropriate to give practical advice along those lines.

Just read.

Clever isn't it? Also completely true. The best way to figure out how to write well is to read often. Take the things you see working for others, and find a way to apply it to your own works. Now I want you to understand I'm not talking about copying someone's work, I'm talking about getting a general idea of how a good book looks and feels so you can make yours do the same.

A good writer must be a good reader. I will step out on a limb and say you cannot be a good writer if you're not a good reader. In my opinion it's that important.

It's also a great way to learn different writing styles. Don't just pick one particular genre of book and only read it. You have to diversify. I once read a Janet Evonavich book. I'm not lying!! I really did it, and I read the whole thing. She has had enough books on top of the list that I found it necessary to at least see what she is doing. In my defense I had just finished some H.P. Lovecraft short stories, and was in-between good reads, so it fit into my schedule. She actually did quite a few things that I hope to someday be a good enough writer to pull off. You don't achieve the success she has without doing pretty much everything right. And I would not have gotten a grasp on some of those things if I hadn't read her book.

When you read, pay special attention to characters. I play a little game with myself, I pick a character and try to guess how their character arc advances in the story before it happens. Keep a very close eye on how the author advances his/her plot as well. If you can't advance your own plot in a way that is exciting and interesting, how do you expect others to want to read it? Would you finish a book you find boring?

I'm reading 'The Green Mile' by Stephen King (great book) and he makes two references to a shoe that seem small and insignificant, but the shoe plays a very important role in furthering the plot. Ask yourself if there is some area in your story that you can find a place for something like that as well.

In closing you gain much from immersing yourself in fiction. Most notably you learn about the type of fiction you want to write, but don't limit yourself though. It sure beats watching TV.

'Til next time...