Chapter 17: Overshadowed Update

Hey everybody! I hope you're enjoying your Friday evening. And I hope this blog post will help make it that much better of a night, lol!!

Have you ever felt like you were on the verge of a major change in life? I love that feeling, I love knowing that something great is about to transpire.

The last few chapters on the science of fiction have been rather forced, and for that I apologize. Sadly my personal life has encroached on my ability to blog. I have not been able to spend the time formulating decent ideas, thoughts or advice on what I have stumbled across through my writing.

However, I don't think things are going to change much for me as we start to get closer to fall. School is plodding right along, work is work, family is amazing and Overshadowed... Well Overshadowed has never been more exciting.

We are approaching the completion of the latest round of major editing. This is far and away the most time consuming part of this whole process. Since it is drawing to a close, those of us who are working on this project can't help but feel that we are almost to the top of the mountain. Well I can't speak for anyone else, but I'll speak for myself. Getting near to finishing this book has me more excited each and every time I touch the keyboard. Now I'm not saying that the work is done, because it's not. In fact, the work is just beginning, fortunately the work from here on out is more enjoyable, and a lot easier.

I want to start featuring some of the characters of Overshadowed, so I can start to tease you guys a little bit with tidbits from the story. For now, let me just say that I have never been more excited to see what's going to happen next.

In that regard, I am wondering if any of you want to know what happens next. I am looking for several individuals who love to read, and who would be willing to do some work on Overshadowed with me. I need a handful of people that are willing to do an alpha reading project on this book. If you're interested in getting a sneak peak at Overshadowed, and you're willing to spend some time discussing it's finer points with me, than this is a great opportunity for the both of us. Just shoot me a quick email, Facebook, or leave a comment here.

I also have three short story projects in the works. I don't have any plans to post anything on the blog just yet, but I might be persuadable. I have finished two short stories and one thing I'm going to be doing going forward is cataloging my adventures of trying to get them published. Keep an eye out for updates there, it should be interesting.

I hope you're as excited about getting to read Overshadowed as I am to finish it. Get ready to tell your friends and family to hop on the Overshadowed bandwagon, we can all ride it together.

Thanks for your time!



'til next time!

Chapter 16: A good Red Herring.

So, what makes a good red herring? How can you trick someone into believing a lie, and then tell them that you meant to do it all along? How do you cheat someone out of their expectations, and then have you thank them for it?

Back in 2003, John Cusack starred in a phenomenal film called "Identity". It was the story of a group of individuals that were trapped in a hotel in the middle of the desert. And slowly, one by one, they are killed off. It is an awesome story, that keeps you in suspense the entire time. And the icing on the cake is a properly placed Red Herring that leaves you going "WTF?".

The Red Herring is *Spoiler Alert* the fact that all the characters are the different parts of a psycho-criminals multiple personalities. The hotel they find themselves in is part of the the killers mind, and the good parts of his mind work together to try and destroy the bad.

I think this is one of the best examples of a Red Herring because it is subtle, yet powerful, and a creative twist on a generic formula. The story in itself is not some completely unheard of, original, and powerful script. It actually was quite normal, rather run-of-the-mill in fact. A knock-off of more than one movie that had already been made.

That is the first key in my opinion for pulling this thing off. You have to work in a platform of familiarity.

So, what else is necessary when writing a Red Herring? What will make our story complete? Ironically enough the general rule of thumb when it comes to writing a Red Herring is to not do it in the first place. You run to great of a risk of leaving the reader feeling jipped, when the main character wakes up, and we find out that he was just dreaming. Nobody wants that in a story, unless of course it is the hidden ingredient that makes the story complete.

I would say that the next key for a well placed Red Herring, is to take the reader to a place they did not expect to go. And (this is essential), it must, must, MUST (did I mention must?) be a more enjoyable place than where they expect to end up at. In the case of Repo Men, the big surprise reveal left me wishing the actual ending had of been the one that took place. Just because the fake ending was so crazy and weird, it would have been awesome if the hero's had of been able to pull it off.

So my closing thoughts on the subject are this; write in familiar territory for your reader. Don't try to throw a loop on a story that is already throwing the reader for a loop. If it's an exciting, bold, new idea, than let it stand on it's own two feet. Take them to a place that is better than where they would go if you hadn't pulled the wool over their eyes. And lastly, be most careful about when you decide to try this. For young authors it is rare to get away with something like a Red Herring. Especially on a first publication, but then again, you never know what could happen...

If you faithfully follow my blog, you will see that it is dwindling in size week after week. This is simply because I am in a very busy time in my life. I am going to school, working full-time at a very demanding job, have a wife and three kids and Overshadowed is rapidly drawing near completion. It is an exciting time in my life and one I will remember for a long time to come. Sadly it makes blogging a little more challenging. I'm not saying this because I'm going to be quitting, on the contrary, I hope to expand the scope of this blog to include not only random musings on how to write better, but also things I am employing in my day-to-day life to try and help acquire new skills.

I have been convicted for not reading lately (college textbooks do not count), I finished off the Green Mile earlier this year and have not touched a book since. For a writer this is a dangerous idea, especially when one is finishing up a large project. So I went on my iPod and purchased a Brandon Sanderson novel. It's called Warbreakers and it is quite good. I don't normally have much of a taste for what I consider “traditional” fantasy novels, but this one is well worth the read. I will keep you updated on my progress.

I also have three separate short story projects in the works right now. Who knows, if you're good, I just might post some of them. I'll keep you posted.

'Til next time...

Chapter 15: Positive Plagiarism.

I know I promised everyone a chapter dedicated to good Red Herrings for this week, but I am wayyyy behind the 8 ball and can't get it prepared in time. Ironically, had I prepared it I would've probably not used it anyway. The reason for that is because of a movie I watched today, a movie that got me thinking about plagiarism.

Having been given the day off, my Wife and I decided to take the kids to the Theater to see a film my daughter has been wanting to watch. It's called Legends Of The Guardians, perhaps you've heard of it. So after watching this movie it got me thinking about ways to take stories that have already been told, and use their familiarity for your own purposes.

I know last week I busted out some spoilers, but this week you can read easy. LotG has only been out in theaters for two weeks and I don't want to give away anything. So this is going to be a spoiler-free chapter.

Before we delve too deeply, I do want to encourage you to go see this movie. It is not doing so well at the box office, and that's a shame. I think it's a gem of a flick, and the CGI was marvelous. In fact I would be so bold as to say the CGI/3D blend was one of the best I have ever seen, at times it was shoulder-to-shoulder with Avatar. But we aren't hear to talk about the pretty graphics now are we?

I wanted to talk about the storyline, because even with the smashing effects, that is what caught my eye. The story is about a young owl, full of natural ability, but still held down by self-doubt, he is basically tasked with saving the kingdom from a unstoppable weapon, and simultaneously helping fight off an army of masked owls led by a evil dark lord that (go figure) also wears a mask. Other interesting points in the story are the wise old owl he meets, that is ironically part of the legends he heard as a youngster. This owl gives him the advice to “follow your gizzard”, which he does, and well because of that, pretty much saves the day. Now I'm curious, is this ringing any bells with anyone?? Anyone at all? Lets see some hands...

It's pretty much Star Wars, there, I said it. Some may disagree, but I'm just saying. You can't watch this movie without superimposing Obi-Wan's voice saying “use the gizzard Luke.”

Sorry, about that. I can't help myself... I'm glad I got the joking out of my system. Honestly, the fact that this story had already been told to me didn't even bother me, and that is what surprised me the most.

This movie captured the essence of correct plagiarism in that it took an old story line, and made it into something new. I was quite impressed by how well it was done. And as someone who nitpicks every little nuance of pretty much every movie/book I ingest, I was caught off-guard and pleasantly surprised by the fact I didn't trash this movie, and simply because of the gizzard thing.

In my opinion I think the Star Wars model is a good one. It shows a character arc that we all wish to travel (from normalcy to greatness), and is full of suspense, action and danger. And at the core it's a good, old-fashioned, good triumphing over evil story. And that is enough for me, because it allowed me to escape into the world of Owls with helmets, and root for the good guys.

Now my question is, how can we as writers walk this tightrope effectively? How do we take the parts of stories that have already been told, and use them in new and exciting ways? And more importantly, how do we do it without looking like rip-offs, and complete hacks?

I would love to see some reader feedback on this. If you don't feel the urge to post a comment, email me at overshadowedipod@yahoo.com, I think this is a healthy topic, and one worth discussing. I for one have my own idea that has been stuck in my head for half a decade and I need to finish it, so I'm gonna keep this chapter short. I don't think I ripped off anyone in my writing, but I do hope I captured at least a couple of the aspects of story-telling that turn a regular story into something great.

I will let you be the judge.

'Til next time.

Chapter 14: Sad excuse for a Red Herring.

Before I get started this week, I feel I have to warn you. I am going to be discussing a movie (Repo Men), if you have not seen this movie this is your warning, there will be spoilers. If you have not seen the film, and don't want it spoiled for you, skip this chapter until you have.

So, one night my wife and I found ourselves in that increasingly rare place where we have time on our hands and nothing to do. Having just acquired a new TV, we figured a movie night was in order. I buzzed over to the local Redbox and picked up a movie called Repo Men. In all honesty I was thinking of picking up a romantic comedy for my wife, but sadly they were all out (dodged that bullet).

A future chapter will have to be on the subject of people who digest entertainment, not because they wish to be surprised by it, but because they crave a certain emotional response. And I'll go ahead and include the template for every romantic comedy ever made, so if you're interested then you can write your own romantic comedy. But that is for another place and time.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes, Repo Men. The movie is based on a book called, The Repossession Mambo. I have never read the book, so I won't pass judgment. However I will attest that the movie was total tripe. Not because the acting was bad (it wasn't), or the effects weren't good (they were). It was because the story was terrible, inconsistent, and felt weak. To top it off, they threw a massive Red Herring into it at the end.

Before we go on, remember that everyone is a critic, (especially me) and a Red Herring is an effort by the story teller to divert your attention from what is really going on.

The story is basically summed up as this; a pair of ex-military buddies work together repossessing man-made organs if the organ recipients can't make their payments. Obviously removing someones heart/lung/kidney is deadly, so they struggle with justifying whether it is murder or not. During a repo, one night, one of them is injured, and is forced to get a transplanted heart in order to live. After the surgery, he suddenly develops a conscience, and can't bring himself to repossess any more organs. This leaves him with no paycheck, and before you know it, the shoe is on the other foot, and he is now being hunted by repo men.

He befriends a woman, who is also unable to pay for her organs, and they fall in love. They realize how futile it is to keep running so they decide to take down the whole organ donor structure so they can go on living like normal.

His best friend is forced to hunt him, they face each other, he defeats the friend, then kills a bunch of people and brings down the entire network. Case closed, that's a wrap... But wait, there's more!

While he is fighting his friend he is knocked out by his best friend and is saved by his new girlfriend. This turns out to be where the Red Herring takes place. Apparently when his best friend knocks him out, he causes irreparable brain damage, and leaves him mostly dead. His best friend pays to have him hooked up to a neural dreamworld where he can live out the rest of his comatose life in paradise, and the whole movie from the knock out onward is his dream.

Now I enjoy a good Red Herring as much as the next guy. But they have to be in good taste, and more-so than that, they have to further or accent the plot.. I don't really feel Repo Men accomplished any of this, in my opinion it only weakened an already malnourished plot.

Here's what turned me off about this storyline. For starters I actually think the premise of repossessing organs is a good one. That is the good idea I like to talk about, the one that makes the story. I however refuse to believe that a society that has continued to advance itself forward enough to develop the ability to make organs would suffer some sort of breakdown in workers comp. So I don't think he would have been forced to pay for his new heart out of pocket.

The second beef I took with this flick had to do with the whole Red Herring. As I said earlier I think it needs to accent the plot, not crush you like a falling piano. It has to have the ability to make the story better. I think the story line was at it's best when it was focusing on two people's struggle against a corrupt and vicious system. It is an honorable battle to fight against injustice, but making it all out to be a dream cheapens that victory.

On a final note, the whole neurological network he was hooked up to was only mentioned once during the movie, it was during a brief conversation and was not talked about for the rest of the film (that I remember at least). I think if you're going to take someone down that road, than at the very least, leave some crumbs along the roadside for the people to snack on.

This was just a rant that has been on my mind since I saw this film. You should see it for yourself, if you haven't already that is. And then let me know what you think of it.

I think next week I'll talk about my personal definition of a good red herring and see what people have to say about that.

As always, thanks for reading.

Chapter 13: Vivid descriptions.

Have you ever seen a man with two left arms? Maybe some of you have. Maybe some of you have seen pictures on the Internet, some of you may be experts with photoshop and are making the photos of people with two left arms that are found on the Internet.

And some of you may be like me, and you're writing people with two left arms. I was editing a fight scene in Overshadowed when I first discovered I had a problem.

The problem I was facing, is one all writers face when describing fight scenes. The fact is fights are fast, and writing about them is not. So I was of course committing the cardinal sin of writing the scene too fast. And as these sort of things usually do, it came back to bite me.

The end result was my protagonist spent two whole sentences fighting with two left arms. I had vividly described the scene of the struggle, the placement of all parties involved and their interaction of combat. Unfortunately I hadn't taken the laws of basic anatomy into consideration when I was typing everything out.

When I write a fight scene, I do what probably most anybody does. I try to record how I think I would handle the situation (and that is why it is called fiction), how I would react to fighting a small band of monstrous beasts, and what moves I would make to overcome them. In short, I watch the movie in my head then try and copy it onto paper.

Does anybody else out there write fiction? And if so, what are you finding for roadblocks when describing action sequences? It is a part of story-telling that can be a pitfall for all of us. I know it is for me because I get excited and it's a part of the movie-in-my-head that I really enjoy watching. I want it on paper soooooo bad that I put it down as fast as I can.

What I need to do is take a step back when I approach these types of scenes and find a more disciplined method for capturing those moments. As always, the better your earlier drafts; the easier your final ones will be. I can be entertained by it, but I also need to be responsible in my content handling.

I find one thing to be true about any type of written story. That if you spend lots of time thinking about it before you put it to paper, you're usually going to end up with a better finished product. So if you find yourself trying to record a scene, and you're stuck on the details, take a step back and think over the sequences you are creating. Spend extra time imagining how you would expect a fight to go. And most importantly stick to the basics when it comes to things like physics and anatomy.

I'm going to leave Glass Walls up for one more week. If you haven't read it, go read it!! As always I appreciate feedback. Hope you all have had a good week.

'Til next time.

Chapter 11: Story building, Part 3

So I have finally finished my first draft. I even came in under my 5k word limit. This is a new feeling for me. Usually I am cutting words to make the length. This time I was a bit too judicious in my efforts and my reward is that I now get to add content.

My characters shaped up well. I have my strong hero; confident and self-assured. And my equally strong heroine, who is a bit more fragile only because of her size. Capturing the dynamics of their relationship as they grow closer together through has been my goal for this story all along. I think the idea of two people falling in love having never touched, or heard each other speak is an interesting one. And thanks to the World Wide Web it is not such a far-fetched concept either.

The story is entirely first-person perspective, from Toms point of view, so we unfortunately never really get to hear much of Sophie’s side, but we see how he grows to care for her and becomes more and more tortured by what happens to her. I also want a seed of distrust to flow through the final decision Tom has to make. Has Sophie been turned? Is she being used by the aliens against him, and if she is does he even care anymore?

So what do you guys think? Do the tidbits I've thrown out show my story to have enough of the "good stuff" that it will need in order to keep its intrigue, suspense and enjoyment levels high enough to keep you interested? I sure hope so...

One final note about line-editing. Someday I want to do a chapter dedicated solely to the art of line-editing, so I won't go too deeply into detail tonight. I have been doing line work on Glass Walls this week and have found it to be quite frustrating, nothing new there. But I love how it can help to open up a brand new direction that you may have been hinting at, but have not quite put your finger on yet. I know that's pretty vague, but I want to save some of my technical examples for a later date.

A little technical, non-story related blurb. I am going to be changing my Chapter release date from Thursday to Friday. My weeks have become quite busy and Friday is now the best time for me to post this thing. I don't know, I hope that isn't such a problem. Not like anybody has anything better to do on a Friday night anyway.

Hey is anybody excited for Glass Walls? I know I am even more excited about the feedback that hopefully all of you are dieing to give. I cherish opinions, (especially harsh ones) for I feel they help me grow. If you would like to make a comment, but lack the gumption to subscribe you can post it. Please take a few seconds and email it to me at OverdshadowedIPod@yahoo.com and I will post it for you. I hope to have some discussion points from my story, so please don't be shy.

Without further ado; I will make this official, Glass Walls will be available for your reading pleasure on September 17th, so set your calendars and get excited. But hurry it's only going to be available for a limited time.

'Til next time...

Chapter 10: Story building Pt. 2

So just to give a quick update. I am about 40% done with my short story's first draft , and thoroughly enjoying myself; short story writing is fun!

I've gone with the remarkably common names of Tom for my hero, and Sophie for my heroine. My goal is to make the physicality of the pair be as normal as possible, run-of-the-mill, in fact. I have with the aliens as well, they are also rather generic. I have decided to call them Ralphies, not as there actual names but as the name they are referred to by.

The setting will be called the 'X galaxy', I went with a roman numeral name system because I grow so weary of ridiculous made up names that no one would ever consider naming a galaxy after. Also cheesy "new" locations named after current places on earth, (New Memphis, New Jordan) just don't work for me. So the galaxy will be the tenth galaxy currently under human exploration, and one that is only a few thousand years from being swallowed by a black hole.

My characters are losing a battle with time. They are on the side that's winning the war, but are stuck in the clutches of the enemy. They face daily torture sessions, solitude and loneliness, and slowly but surely they are falling in love.

Around them their world is reduced to nothing more than a glass bubble, and daily trips to the torture room. It also seems that the outside battle is drawing close, but they can't be sure of anything.
I already have the ending pretty much wrapped up. I have decided that Tom is going to have to face a decision; to run and leave Sophie, or stay and tempt death.

What would you do?

That seems to be a reoccurring question for me as I write this story. What would I do in that situation? If I can compel my readers to ask themselves that same question, then I have achieved a goal as a writer, and perhaps will have the makings of a good story.

I'm pleased with my progress so far. I just checked my word count, I am at 2900 words. I have finished both the beginning and the end. All I need to do now is throw the middle scenes together and I will have the first draft.

I think I'll have a contest, a test of loyalty from my group of loyal followers.

Does anybody want to play the role of Alpha reader for this project? I will select someone for the job. The pay is unbelievable, and the benefits are out-of-sight. If you're interested just fire off a comment, if you can't comment due to lack of google account, than go ahead and email me at Overshadowedipod@yahoo.com

I'm going to halt my efforts at practical advice for the time being as I have quite a bit on my plate right now. Keep an eye out in the coming weeks though I'm sure it will be back.

Also I'm considering on changing the format in coming chapters. I want to invite reader participation, and have more open discussions. If you're reading this than you're obviously interested in writing, and that means you have something to contribute. More on that in the future.

'Til then...